viernes, 29 de junio de 2012

Sueño Feliz: nuestra experiencia

En mi casa el tema del sueño siempre me ha preocupado y el de mis hijos muchísimo, de hecho tengo 31 entradas en mi blog con ese tag. Debe de ser por culpa de mis problemas con él. Volqué mis miedos en mis hijos y su descanso para mí era sagrado, sobre todo con mi Bichito. Pero siempre les he respetado, a veces con una sonrisa, otras más cabreada y otras con unas ojeras de impresión, pero siempre respetando sus ritmos.

El sueño de mi Bichito maduró antes y el de mi Pequeñín está en proceso, desde que escribí una entrada sobre que había dormido del tirón, sólo lo ha vuelto a hacer una única vez y escribí el post hace más de 3 semanas. He tenido momentos tensos debido a la desesperación que muchas veces produce el comportamiento de nuestros hijos y de la acumulación del cansancio, pero entre mi marido y yo hemos logrado solventarlo de la mejor forma posible, sin perder el respeto a nuestros pequeños y pidiéndoles perdón si les hemos levantado la voz en algún momento. 

Muchas han sido las personas que me han hablado del maldito libro Duérmete niño de Eduard Estivill, que no entraba dentro de mis principios y de lo que yo considero respeto hacia mis hijos. Siempre he hablado de ello abiertamente, dando mis argumentos y sabiendo que tarde o temprano el sueño de nuestros hijos maduran, sólo hay que saber esperar. He oído hablar de niños a los que se lo han aplicado, niños que han llorado, que han vomitado, que se han sentido solos, que han pedido ayudas a sus cuidadores y no la han obtenido, que se han dormido de puro agotamiento llevado al extremo. Los bebés tienen una función primitiva que para sobrevivir y no se agoten dejan de llorar y se duermen para guardar sus últimas fuerzas.

Me cuesta muchísimo entender a las personas que lo aplican, de verdad, muchísimo, no soy capaz de comprender el sufrimiento de un bebé, mis oídos nos están hechos para escucharles llorar en ningún caso, y mucho menos voluntariamente por sus cuidadores. He recomendado libros alternativos, que te ayudan a entender el sueño de los bebés y de los niños y que, en algunos casos, dan algunas pautas para mejorar las noches. Pero yo creo que en estos primeros años de la vida de nuestros bebés, son especialmente vulnerables, necesitan que las personas que más les quieren les apoyen y les ayuden y no que ignoren su sufrimiento.

No sólo me considero diametralmente opuesta al método Estivill, sino que además me parece una auténtica salvajada. No soy capaz de entender cómo algo así ha llegado a tantos hogares y cómo se han dejado manipular. Los tres primeros años de nuestros bebés son los más importantes de sus vidas, en los que sientan las bases de su psique y su carácter y abandonarles en su habitación a oscuras, sin atender sus necesidades, no es el camino.

Cuando yo era una madre inexperta y leía libros que venden muchísimos ejemplares, que salen en las revistas de bebés comunes y que te dicen cómo debes de hacer las cosas, supe que eso no era normal, que así no. Investigué, leí muchos artículos y busqué información sobre el sueño de los bebés, hasta que encontré el famoso libro de "Felices Sueños" ("The no-cry sleep solution", de Elisabeth Pantley) y entendí a mi Bichito y seguí respetándola como hasta ese momento había hecho y esperando tranquila a que su sueño madurara. Con mi Pequeñín lo tenía claro y ya no volqué mis miedos en él, sólo me he dedicado a esperar y a respetarle.

Les acuesto cada noche con amor y cariño, dándoles un beso y deseándoles felices sueños y estoy segura que los tendrán. Si se despiertan les cojo y les acurruco en mi regazo dándoles un beso, ahí estaremos su padre y yo siempre para lo que nos necesiten. Cada mañana les despierta mi marido con un beso.

Os dejo enlaces a libros y artículos que nos ayudan a entender que los bebés y los niños son bebés y niños y que duermen como tales y hay que tratarlos con amor y respeto:
“El sueño del bebé sin lágrimas” de Elisabeth Pantley.
“El sueño del niño de los dos a los seis años sin lágrimas”, de Elisabeth Pantley.
"La siesta hasta los seis años, sin lágrimas", de Elisabeth Pantley.
“Dormir sin lágrimas”, de Rosa Jové.
"Desmontando a Estivill", por la psiquiatra Ibone Olza.
"El sueño infantil, mitos y realidades", en Dormir sin llorar.
"El método Estivill sufrido en propia carne", en Mente Libre.

91 comentarios:

  1. Gracias Su por tu experiencia, sabia toda ella. Como dices: basta con acompañarles, respetarles y esperar, todo ello aderezado de mucho amor.
    Un beso guapa

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    Respuestas
    1. Gallinita Pintadita, opinamos de la misma forma.

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  2. Mira como se parte de risa el tío... le hará gracia llenarse los bolsillos sin importarle el daño que está haciendo.

    Ggggggrrrrrrr

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  3. A mí también me cuesta entender que no se te remueva todo por dentro mientras tu bebé llora en una habitación, ni que sean dos minutos.
    Ojalá estos posts lleguen a mucha gente. Un beso!

    ResponderEliminar
    Respuestas
    1. Mo, cuando oigo llorar a mis hijos se me estremecen las entrañas, no puedo entender que haya personas que lo permitan.

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  4. No me he apuntado al movimiento, estoy bastante liada, pero en mi caso hemos tenido muchos "problemas" con el sueño, el peque es como yo, no le gusta perderse nada y no le gusta dormir. Pero el solo ha coseguido con 3 añitos domir solo. Estamos super orgullosos de el, y sin una sola lagrima. Se puede conseguir, solo hay que tener muuuuuucha paciencia, y no dejarse llevar por teorias que solo buscan nuestra comodidad. Gracias por hacerlo masivo.

    ResponderEliminar
    Respuestas
    1. Supermama, a mi Pequeñín y a mí nos pasa lo mismo que a vosotros, que no nos gusta perdernos nada. Es normal que orgullosa, te felicito por ser paciente y esperar.

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  5. Gracias por tu experiencia guapísima. El respeto es fundamental en cualquier relación, no se porque no aprendemos a respetar a nuestros hijos.
    Besos.

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    Respuestas
    1. Yo misma, yo también creo q el respecto es la base de la relación y que debemos de tratar a nuestros hijos con él.

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